Things you may have heard if...

...you were either standing next to me or reading my mind yesterday at my Neices soccer game:
"Come here honey, stay away from the dirty children."
"That's okay... you only have to PRETEND you like playing soccer."
"GOD, she's BIG."
"Who IS that? And why does she think she gets a snack?"
"Why are those children wallowing in the mud?"
"It's NOVEMBER. Who in their right mind would dress their child in a tank top, dirndl skirt and FLIP FLOPS then drag them to a soccer game?" (The kid I'm referring to was one of the "wallowers")
"Where's the smoking section?"
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
"Well, at least they're the prettiest ones."
"I LOVE that R decided to wear a sparkly, bright pink headband."
"Thank GOD they didn't get dirty."
"She didn't feel the need to brush her hair before attending her childs' soccer game?"
"That's just creepy."
"What just happened?"
"It's over already???"
All in all, a grand time was had by everyone in attendance. Including me. The girls seemed to be enjoying themselves and I'm sure they're learning some sort of life lesson that will serve them well as adults - probably "team work" or "If I do this, I'll get pizza."
Our team didn't win. Amazingly enough, neither R or V seemed to notice or even care. V was particularly dramatic as she moaned, "We LOST!!!" then totally cracked up as she went limp and feigned being upset.
Gee-ads, I love those kids.