The anatomically incorrect bag and My "Cosmopolitan" family
So yesterday I had to go to a 90th birthday party for the SOs great aunt. I didn't mind going... she is a pretty cool lady. She was a teacher, an ACLU advocate in Santa Cruz, a sailor, and a HAM radio enthusiast. She passed on her passion for sailing and HAM radio to low income kids in her area. She asked that instead of giving her gifts that we make a donation to UNICEF. Cool, right? She has one son... the SO couldn't remember if she was ever married. A husband was nowhere in attendance and was never mentioned during the celebration. I did notice that she had a "roomate" for over 40 years. A woman named "Chance"... interesting.
So we show up at this fascinating old lesbians bday... the first to greet us are the SO's parents. His very cool dad gives me a bear hug and laments that he hasn't seen me in so long.
Next is his mother...
"let me take your Man Bag". she always refers to the bag that I'm carrying as a "Man Bag". She thinks it's funny. She's thought so every time she's said it the past 30 times I've seen her.
I find it annoying.
"Chris, It doesn't have a penis - it's just a BAG."
I did my best to avoid her for the rest of the day.
Fast forward about 35 uncomfortable minutes later. I'm sitting across from "Aunt Shirley". She married into the family and contributed to the families' homosexual count by giving birth to the SOs lesbian cousin Nancy (who I just love). Aunt Shriley is the 'Jewish Grandmother' of the family (THEIR term, not mine). She is the only person of a different faith to marry into the clan. Shirley has decided that after all these years, she "really never got a chance to talk to me". (No big surprise as I try to avoid these gatherings as much as possible.) She's a good conversationalist. I'm enjoying our chat. Then the inevetable question comes up...
"So how long has your family been in this country?"
I never know whether or not to be put off by this question...
"Well, actually, my Mom was born in San Francisco and my Dad came over when he was just a teenager. His father was a professional golfer - he won the Phillipine Open about 16 times."
"Oh! So your family is cosmopolitan." She sounded relieved.
This was new to me. I'd never heard someone say that about my family. I wondered what she meant... I guess she could see the shadow of confusion pass over my face...
"Well, you didn't come over here to be part of the immigrant work force."
"No. I guess not... unless you count "dance hall girls" as part of the immigrant work force. Most of the women in my family worked the Dance Halls up and down the Barbery Coast - I guess that's why I became a dancer. Oh, look! Quiche! Excuse me."
Should I just assume that people look at someone like me and immediately assume that my family came to the United States to work as laborers? Not that that's a bad thing... but for someone to be so surprised that that wasn't the case... it gives me pause.
Could someone please shed a little light?
So we show up at this fascinating old lesbians bday... the first to greet us are the SO's parents. His very cool dad gives me a bear hug and laments that he hasn't seen me in so long.
Next is his mother...
"let me take your Man Bag". she always refers to the bag that I'm carrying as a "Man Bag". She thinks it's funny. She's thought so every time she's said it the past 30 times I've seen her.
I find it annoying.
"Chris, It doesn't have a penis - it's just a BAG."
I did my best to avoid her for the rest of the day.
Fast forward about 35 uncomfortable minutes later. I'm sitting across from "Aunt Shirley". She married into the family and contributed to the families' homosexual count by giving birth to the SOs lesbian cousin Nancy (who I just love). Aunt Shriley is the 'Jewish Grandmother' of the family (THEIR term, not mine). She is the only person of a different faith to marry into the clan. Shirley has decided that after all these years, she "really never got a chance to talk to me". (No big surprise as I try to avoid these gatherings as much as possible.) She's a good conversationalist. I'm enjoying our chat. Then the inevetable question comes up...
"So how long has your family been in this country?"
I never know whether or not to be put off by this question...
"Well, actually, my Mom was born in San Francisco and my Dad came over when he was just a teenager. His father was a professional golfer - he won the Phillipine Open about 16 times."
"Oh! So your family is cosmopolitan." She sounded relieved.
This was new to me. I'd never heard someone say that about my family. I wondered what she meant... I guess she could see the shadow of confusion pass over my face...
"Well, you didn't come over here to be part of the immigrant work force."
"No. I guess not... unless you count "dance hall girls" as part of the immigrant work force. Most of the women in my family worked the Dance Halls up and down the Barbery Coast - I guess that's why I became a dancer. Oh, look! Quiche! Excuse me."
Should I just assume that people look at someone like me and immediately assume that my family came to the United States to work as laborers? Not that that's a bad thing... but for someone to be so surprised that that wasn't the case... it gives me pause.
Could someone please shed a little light?
1 Comments:
But don't most folks come here for the work opportunities? Of course I guess this woman was referring to people who arrived here in desperate straits and only had the option of manual labor? Whatever. She just spoke without thinking. You should have asked where her ancestors were from because unless her family is, you know, European royalty or whatever, they probably have basically the same "immigrant" story as we do.
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