Grrr...
I have a friend in SF. He's one of the "theater pals". While he's an extremely talented performer, his life off the stage always seems to be a complete mess. He's the one in our group that can never seem to pull his shit together. Can't hold down a steady job, moves around a lot, can't keep a girl (boy?) friend... he's handsome and charming and I always find myself concerned for his well being. A few years ago, i knew he was in yet another financial bind, so I hired him to do some work around the house. The plan was for him to install some overhead lighting in our living room. I paid him, but all he ended up doing was removing a light fixture in our dining room, moving a fixture from our bedroom into the dining room to replace it, then replacing the fixture in the bedroom. He never ended up finishing the job of doing the overhead lighting in the living room.
ANYhow... this friend called me last week and - lo and behold - he had another sob story about needing money. Now, this guy is currently engaged and when we saw him over the holidays he and his fiance were all atwitter over the wedding plans... reception at a country club, wedding dress shopping, etc. They even asked if I'd consult on the dress and shoes (she "really, REALLY wants a pair of Jimmy Choo's").
Now, neither one of them is an orphan and while i'm sure they don't "come from money", I would imagine that they'd have other options when it came to asking people for money. I guess the call caught me off guard... when he let me know that he may need to ask me for some money (a "loan"), I told him that I'd do what I could.
Well, I received the inevitable follow up call on Friday. He indeed DID need to ask for money. Now I find myself completely UNinterested in helping him out, and I'm at a loss as to just how to tell him this. I WANT to ask him what the hell is up with him and his fiance that they need to ask ME for money - I mean, even when we lived in the Bay Area, we only ever saw him maybe three times a year at the most. I WANT to ask him if he actually thinks that I believe that he'll somehow find a way to pay me back. I WANT to remind him of how I basically paid him in full for a job half done.
I WANT to just ignore his calls.
ugh.
Any suggestions?
ANYhow... this friend called me last week and - lo and behold - he had another sob story about needing money. Now, this guy is currently engaged and when we saw him over the holidays he and his fiance were all atwitter over the wedding plans... reception at a country club, wedding dress shopping, etc. They even asked if I'd consult on the dress and shoes (she "really, REALLY wants a pair of Jimmy Choo's").
Now, neither one of them is an orphan and while i'm sure they don't "come from money", I would imagine that they'd have other options when it came to asking people for money. I guess the call caught me off guard... when he let me know that he may need to ask me for some money (a "loan"), I told him that I'd do what I could.
Well, I received the inevitable follow up call on Friday. He indeed DID need to ask for money. Now I find myself completely UNinterested in helping him out, and I'm at a loss as to just how to tell him this. I WANT to ask him what the hell is up with him and his fiance that they need to ask ME for money - I mean, even when we lived in the Bay Area, we only ever saw him maybe three times a year at the most. I WANT to ask him if he actually thinks that I believe that he'll somehow find a way to pay me back. I WANT to remind him of how I basically paid him in full for a job half done.
I WANT to just ignore his calls.
ugh.
Any suggestions?
posted by Shuboy at 7:56 PM
2 Comments:
Be blunt. Tell him exactly what you said above.
A good friend gave us this advice after the SU and I loaned a friend a sum of money so that she could move into a new place. We "gave" her enough to pay deposits and first month's rent. Anyhoo. She never paid it back.
The advice was "whenever you loan a friend money --consider it a gift".
So, so true. I would say they need to learn to be a responsible two-some on their own.
xo
Suz
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