Conversation Geek

So yesterday we went to a wedding. A friend of the SOs from HS. This was the smallest wedding I've ever been to - about 80 or 90 people. I was gonna wear the Armand Basi suit. Glad I didn't. Suffice to say, not one, but TWO pairs of Berkenstocks were in attendance. The wedding was at the Danville Community Center. Nice enough place. The ceremony was outside in a pretty grove of trees, the weather was perfect.
I'd imagine that most people would not think that I'd be nervous in a situation like this. I was. Whenever I go to non-family weddings, I get this weird, paranoid scenario in my head of someone from the brides family coming up to me and demanding to know who I am and accusing me of crashing the wedding for a free meal. Rediculous, right? RIGHT???? Jeez. Anyway, on top of the non-family wedding paranoia I had anxiety about meeting the SOs friends. In retrospect, I can't understand why I was so nervous... I'm not stupid. I don't think I'm boring. I know when to shut up and listen (I check myself constantly to ensure I'm not talking too much... scanning faces to see if anyone's eyes are glazing over). In my pre-event pep talk I reminded myself that I was a guest of a guest at this wedding - just dancin' in the chorus, no feature. Stay out of the spotlight, lay low and it will all be over before I know it. So I'm flying under the radar when, much to my dismay, I get caught in one of those cross table conversations. I hate those. The anxiety escalated when two more non related cross table conversations started up. Six people talking all at the same time from opposite ends of the table about different things. I tried to end my conversation immediately, but the guy I was talking to wouldn't let up. ugh. He was one of those suburbanites who ended up in the big city and was desperately trying to "out-restaurant" me. He kept asking if I'd been to this restaurant or that restaurant. I was really surprised to find that I'd been to every one of the many restaurants he mentioned. He finally gave up and asked what my current favorites/must-go-to's were. I was at a loss. He'd mentioned almost every place worth going to in the city... I finally said, that I really couldn't think of anywhere I wanted to go that I hadn't already been to. nice. how dumb was that?? and when I was doing so well! The SO chimed in with Limon. Excellent save! Yes! Limon. I love Limon, had been there 2 or 3 times and found that I enjoyed Peruvian food. Limon made me think of Destino where I'd been last week. The newly urbanized guy had never been to either one but had heard great things about both of them and they were on his list of must-go-tos. phew. Like it was a contest or something. sheesh. I need help.
Side bar, sort of: the wedding photographer makes his way over to our table. As he's art directing the group, moving us into the perfect composition for the wedding album, barking directions from behind the lens, he drops the camera from in front of his face, looks at me and says, "I recognize you from the Gap". My mind goes into overdrive searching for any memory of this guy. nothing. I get nothing. I stammer something about how he must be wrong. I haven't worked there in ages... "You're Mike, right? Used to work in kids... you drove a blue bug". AACK. How could he know so much about me when I have absolutely NO recollection of him??? All heads turn to me waiting for my reply.
"Wow. Good memory."
Genius, shuboy. You're a freakin' genius.